Before I could get to work, our friend Nancy called to tell us her mother, our dear friend, had suffered a massive stroke and she asked that we come over. I have written about Biddy Blessing Stewart before. She was my husband’s third grade teacher but more than that, Biddy has been a friend, an encourager and a spiritual icon for us, especially in the last 15 years. I have never known anyone exactly like her. I would go to visit Biddy with the intention of trying to bring some joy to her but I would find that within minutes she was asking about me, my children, my grandchildren and what was going on in my life. I felt that I was special. I was the subject of the moment, her full attention was on me. I felt loved unconditionally. Wow, that is what everyone wants. To be seen and loved. To matter to someone so completely that you walk away feeling better about yourself. Feeling empowered.
The doctors had suggested that it would be best to take Ms. Biddy back home. They stated that the stroke was an end of life event and they felt she would be more comfortable at Nancy’s home with her family in attendance.
We walked into the bedroom where Ms. Biddy was lying in the beautiful antique bed, the same bed she was born in 100 years ago. Even though she was unresponsive she was beautiful. Her son Jeb and his wife, Eleanor and her son in law, Keith and Nancy, her daughter, were all sitting around the bed with us. Jeb described his mother perfectly as intelligent, always making someone feel special, totally real and very humorous. He told us how each grandchild had phoned and Nancy would put the phone to Ms. Biddy’s ear so they could tell her goodbye. Eleanor, his wife was wearing a pin that had been given to Biddy by her son Jeb many years ago. Keith who has always pampered Biddy also told stories of how she was always appreciative of their hospitality. And then there is Nancy, her daughter who has always had a deep relationship with her mother that I marveled at. While traveling together I never remember a day when I did not hear Nancy call her mother and tell her how much she loved her. On this day, everyone wanted to honor Biddy in some small way as she had honored us.
Her gift of looking straight into your eyes and making you feel special and unique and loved was not lost on anyone. We laughed as they related the incident that occurred on one of her last visits by ambulance to the hospital. She had fallen and they thought she had a broken arm. When the ambulance attendant was trying to help her on the stretcher, Ms. Biddy looked up at him and said, “my name is Biddy, what is yours?”
Now, I am not sure what the message here is, but as I glanced around the room I saw it was filled with giraffes! There were wooden giraffes, ceramic giraffes, stuffed giraffes, old and new giraffes. I told Nancy I had no idea that she loved giraffes and she said, “Yes, in fact right before her stroke she asked where were her giraffes.” It felt a little strange to know that I had giraffes on my easel at home, maybe a little wink from Biddy.
We visited and prayed and my husband Audie read scriptures from her Bible that she had indicated to be her favorites. They had spoken years ago about the fact that my husband would be performing her funeral service so we found it humorous that Ms. Biddy had written a note along with her scriptures that she would like for him to use the King James Bible at her funeral, not the RSV which he was holding in his hand.
It is hard to adequately describe this woman but maybe this will give you another example of how she affected us. Two weeks ago, my husband and I visited Biddy and he had provided the Lord’s Supper for her. She was so happy as she said she had not been able to participate in this sacrament for a long time. After Audie offered the bread and wine, Ms. Biddy sat very still with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. She remained in a meditative state for a period of time. We felt we were in the presence of a holy moment. It was obvious that she was communing with God, she was talking to someone she knew intimately. I have never seen anyone take communion like that. It made me want what she had. The peace, the relationship and the understanding.
That night, Ms. Biddy Blessing Stewart took her last breath on this earth as she transitioned into the next life. As hard as it is for all those she left behind who knew her, I can imagine that she was met by the One she knew so well, the One who taught her how to share her gift of making others feel so beloved. I am sure He took her in His arms, looked into her eyes and at that moment she knew she was the beloved. She had His complete attention and unconditional love. She was caught up in His presence and heard Him say, “Welcome Home”.
